Christmas music jingles in adverts on the radio and on the television. Family members begin to ask “what would you like for christmas”
I want to reply “Absaloutely nothing” nothing isn’t a good enough answer. I’m giving them an out to even having to bother buying me anything, but still they insist. It’s the season for giving or some shit like that is what they’ve been taught. To which i want to reply “How about you give me space” and i mean that literally. I’m not talking that metaphorical ‘me space’ i’m taking acual physical space in my flat. Where no new presents will have to find it’s place, hows about nothing but space!
I’ll buy presents for them, but all i want is space. And space is priceless. I want less things. This world makes it hard to not always accumulate things. You don’t even have to do much shopping to find yourself accumulating things, you just have to have birthdays, christmases and pets.
Sometimes you can look like you own more than you do, because your flat has these little corners of accumulated little things. Little things that are connected in some way to the bigger things, that to the naked eye just look like little useless things lying about doing nothing. Like you own them because you just do, not because of what it fuctions as. And so it looks like you own more than you do. But actually when you come to picking up all that stuff you realise there wasn’t that much in the pile of shit, it just looked more than it was. But it’s overwhelming to look at. “Fuuuuucckkkk” I find myself screaming internally as i look around. It’s like a cut where the amount of blood currently leaking makes it look way worse than it actually is. You have all these bloody tissues and people are like “wow what the fuck happened here?” and you show them a tiny pathetic looking little cut that has scabbed over. I can feel a sense of panic at the thought of accumulating more stuff.
I have a conflict of interests. On the one hand I want less stuff, technology can certainly help with that. You can download everything onto a device instead of taking up space. But I like to have the book I read in my hand, I like to put the DVD into the DVD player. Yet I know logically that if I was stricter with myself, told myself only to buy digital things i’d save so much space. I wouldn’t have so much stuff. Or maybe I should deny myself my entertainment and no longer bother with DVD’s or books. Fuck yea, just so minimalist!