Why do I always do this

I’m done with this particular neighbour of mine. I start feeling sympathy for him, and then he does some shit towards me. I’m sick of him. I have one conversation with him that is somewhat normal, making me think maybe he’s not so fucking bad. But then he does the shit he does. Calls me sick, sick, sick things behind his door.

No. fuck it. This is it. The final straw. I will not be having a conversation with him again, he wants to talk to me I’m just going to say one word. I’ll be civil. But that’s fucking it. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep going back and forth between sorrow for him and angry and then guilt for feeling angry. Fuck him. He doesn’t care about me, why should I give a shit about him? Fuck him. I’m just done.

I’m fucking done.

Fuck why is my brain the way it is? It feels like mental torture. Fuck sake.

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